Contributor: Ace Testaker
SO YOU NEED TO PASS A DRUG TEST.
So, maybe you have secured a position in one of the aforementioned categories, and now that job, whatever it may be, requires you to take a drug test – but you’re not sure if it’ll come out “clean.”
The following process is something that I have personally developed, and I refer to as “W.E.T.”
Full disclosure, this is not a fail-proof system, by any means. This is simply what has worked for me. Every individual is completely different, and possesses a different B.M.I. (body mass index) and metabolism. There is no guarantee that this will work for everyone.
I, myself, am an average-to-lightweight individual, with a higher-than-average metabolism. I stay relatively active for the most part. I don’t always eat great, but I try to go with more healthy options, whenever it is available. I don’t typically eat fast food, and I stay away from candy, desserts, and soda. Instead of those vices, I consume my fair share of beer and bar food. If this sounds anything like you, this approach may be more likely to work.
But like I said, everyone’s body is different.
So what does this “W.E.T.” acronym actually stand for, exactly?
W = Water
E = Exercise
T = Tea
Water
For seven days straight leading up to the test, I drank a gallon of water a day. I know this sounds like a lot, but when you spread it out over the course of a day, it really isn’t too bad. One way to make this a little easier on yourself is to go and actually pick up some gallons of water from the store, as opposed to assuming you drank enough, via cups and bottles. This way you can’t cheat yourself.
Remember, the only person you’re hurting when you cut corners on any of these methods is you. With a physical gallon, you know exactly how much you consumed when the day is over. If you drink more than a gallon, well good for you. Personally, I got into the habit of carrying the gallon around with me wherever I went – within reason, of course.
The gallon would routinely sit at my bedside table. It would also accompany me to every meal that I ate at home. It would sit on (or next to) my desk in my office while I worked. And, I would even bring it in the car with me while running errands around town. I basically had it with me at all times, and this made it very easy for me to consume a full gallon of water by the end of the day.
Water does a lot of great things for your system, besides just cleaning it out. It lubricates your joints, it assists in healing and recovery, and it is also beneficial to your hair and skin. You will also begin to feel much better overall, too. Everyone has seen what happens when someone spills soda and the remnants dry in a disgustingly sticky way, or how Coke can clean an old penny. Just imagine what that sort of stuff is doing to the inside of your body. Gross.
One of Tom Brady’s biggest keys to the longevity of his career has always been about how much water he consumes on a daily basis. It cleans, it recovers, and it heals your system. And if it’s good enough for one of the best athletes of all time, I’d say it’s good enough for me.
Exercise
Now you don’t have to kill yourself with running extreme amounts every single day. Obviously the more the better, but 1.5 miles was all I ran, and it seemed to do the trick. Remember, this is only for seven days, not for the rest of your life. You can do it.
Other forms of exercise may work just as well, but I’m mainly sharing this because it’s what specifically worked for me. I would love to hear about your successes (or failures), so that we can collectively come together and see what works for people of all types, shapes, and sizes.
Some have said that a sauna works, too. I, personally, cannot vouch for that, but I don’t see how it could hurt.
Tea
There are a lot of different types of detox teas out on the market; too many to be completely honest. While the one I was searching for (Yogi DeTox Healthy Cleansing Formula) was out of stock, I opted to go with Open Nature Detox Cleansing Dandelion & Burdock Root. To be honest with you, I don’t even know if this makes a difference, or if these teas actually even work.
All that I do know is that after consuming the tea, sometimes randomly and very abruptly, the restroom would be beckoning. Which is what, I believe, these teas are known for.
These teas have not been evaluated by the FDA, so who really knows what they’re “supposed” to do. But, even if they are essentially useless, they are adding to the overall liquid consumption that you should be increasing on a daily basis to help cleanse your system.
A few days before the big test, stop in at CVS or Walgreens, and be sure to pick up one of those “At-Home” tests. I found a two-pack at CVS for $35. The reason I opted for the two pack was because if I didn’t pass it on the first attempt, I would have the opportunity to wait a few days, try to increase my “W.E.T.” method, then retake it. Or, if I passed the first time around, I’d use the second one right before the official test, as a means for verification. Luckily for me, I fell into the latter category, and was able to hold onto the second one as a sort of “insurance” test.
Now that you have a full understanding of what “W.E.T.” is, and how it works, please leave any feedback and experience you have with these methods, successful or not. As stated above, this may not work for everyone, but the more feedback we have, the more insight we’ll be able to provide for future cannabis enthusiasts looking for a way to pass an impromptu drug test.
